Not that anybody responded, but I found my solution while crying...Would you believe it? Yesterday I wrote a journal quite hysterical and in the middle of a crisis, but in doing so I found a solution!!!

I've been trying to complete the same composition for several weeks nonetheless, but yesterday, depressed and sad, my muse paid me a visit!!! LOL...

That reinforces my argument regarding depression and creativity: sadness catalyzes my creativity to the roof!!! Crazy ideas flow easily...

Finally, and after procrastinating my paintings for a very long time, I'm on my way. A bit scared, yes, because you guys are amazingly talented, but I'll try my best. I'm even changing my technique... We'll see how it comes out.

Ok, not sure if any of you is going to read this, but I have the same problem over and over again: BACKGROUNDS!!!

I cannot procrastinate this issue any longer. I'm going to paint girls. Yes, oil on canvas. I have very specific ideas of what I want to achieve. I have the girls, BUT I'm stuck with the backgrounds!!! It's ALWAYS the background and, sometimes, the floor.

I don't know how to finish the compositions... the girls cannot "float" alone. I'm driving myself crazy browsing and searching and nothing! Just can't put my finger on it.

It's a girl per canvas. Obviously, they are the only center of attention. I'm not talking about portraits either because I don't know how to paint faces yet. Not sure if I even want to learn "how to paint a face".

I thought about using smaller canvases, but that's not enough. Any suggestions or ideas are welcomed! Anyone? Please?

Sigh...Spent almost two years without touching my brushes. Not that I'm an expert or anything, but my hands are trembling.

In other words, I'm back to basics. Refused to paint apples or pears, therefore, I'm painting shoes! Bought little canvases. I'm painting either one shoe or both per canvas...Just keeping it small.

I need patience. I don't have any. Shoes, require tiny detailing. That's why I chose them (modern and vintage) There is nothing left for me, but practice, practice and keep on practicing...

It's incredible how people can put words in your mouth with the only purpose of making "themselves" heroes to the eyes of a bigger crowd.

A "so called friend" made me realize that it's better to keep your mouth shut no matter what...Guess it's God's way to train me into being a better human being.

I made a life-changing decision today: accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. I thought he was "somewhat" in my heart a long time ago, but he was not.

Learned that gray shades, if you will, are unacceptable when it comes to spiritual matters...You either choose black or white, but no grays in between. Why am I writing this testimony on deviantArt? Because I've been a deviant for several months and I know, for a fact, that some of you take the time to visit and read journals.

It doesn't matter if you're atheist, gnostic or whatever it's you choose to believe in. I cannot and will not hide from the world the way I feel today. After a lifetime of occultism, I'm leaving it all behind: tarot cards, quija boards, coffee cups, herbal-baths, charms, spells, books, ...you name it, anything and everything that relates to darkness is out for good! I'M FREE OF IT ALL!!!

deviantArt? I'm not ready to leave you yet, but I will start by eliminating all depressive, dark, death related art from my favorites... Not that you care, but I do. Hopefully, at least one of you will read my journal and maybe, just maybe will be touched by these words I'm writing for all to see...

Blue